The effects of no sleep

This morning I have been in suburban purgatory, which is good cause with less than two hours of sleep there is no internal blocker for my mouth.
From dealing with a vomiting dog in my car, to a gas station who decided to shut down all pumps but one, which I was the lucky one to use, but then in a sad twist of fate stuck as three cars on either side blocked me in so I couldn't escape, to finally going to Target to pick up a gift certificate for a co-worker's baby shower where I saw what can never be unseen.
In line behind me was a bald woman in her mid 60's wearing a baseball cap and a short summer swim cover up. Now it's rather tacky to be wearing such a thing in public at a Target at 8:40 in the morning, it's more tacky to not be wearing anything underneath. Nothing.
Since I had a few things to do I let her go in front, she first didn't wait for me to move my cart, but decided to gyrate around it, jiggling her once size H breasts that had scummed to gravity and were free to move anywhere they wanted, and they wanted out of the cover up. I SAW NIPPLAGE! Not something that anyone would want to see, especially so early in the morning.
She saw my look of horror and said 'I'm a cancer survivor.'
Which prompted me to say 'obviously not breast cancer' Hide your shame woman!' - well the last part I did say internally so I guess I do have some kind of switch cause no one wants to get into an altercation with a pair of droopy boobs first thing on a Friday morning.
So... yeah, that's been my morning so far. Vomit and unrestricted boobage. Good times.
Aaarrrrrr pirate day!