Birthday

So today is my 37th birthday and besides a small trip to Osh (hell) the day and weekend have been perfect. On Friday my co-workers took me out to lunch at El Torito, the same restaurant that I've been taken to for the past 3 years. I get a card signed by everyone, which I love and keep and I'm always thrilled that my co-workers care that much for me.
Friday night Mason and Isabelle took us out to the Atheneum for dinner. Fancy is an understatement. It was wonderful. From there, we walked around the campus a bit, there were memories, but it mostly felt like an old dream to walk around the trees and buildings again.
Saturday continued to be great. Gym to do elliptical and weights. There is now a sixty pound difference between what my right and left leg can do on the glut machine. From there, dogs to park to play then a quick breakfast and then clean. We cleaned. Like moved sofas to vacuum, and detail work. At 5:00ish Chris, Tracy and Lee came over and we all caravaned over to West Hollywood where I had dinner with: Chris, Tracy, Truett, Gerick, Mario, Laura, Bob, Jessica Matt, Heater, Mason, Isabelle, Dan, Amy, Julia, James, Geoffrey, Lee and Dan. From a great dinner, we went over to The Abbey for drinks and ambiance. From there more people splintered off and the rest of us went to Micky's, then a few other bars before calling it a night.
Then today, dog park, nice breakfast with Dan, then bad trip to Osh and now waiting to go see a movie with Dan and then probably one more dinner and then back to a more mundane life.

Somewhere in our 30's, usually before 35, we start to think our youth is slipping, cause it is. So in an attempt to feel young, fresh and desirable we find women who we've known some for years, others we work with and we patch up a new group of women to create 'girl nights' with. Now some can be going out for coffee and bitching about boys, husbands and children. But most are to feel something again that has slipped and that's the freedom and beauty of early 20's that's mixed in with the age and experiences of a decade.
Now in any group there are stereotypes, like the fashionistas, the well advanced, the prematurely old and the crazies.
Now when our core group got started around 5 years ago there were six main women in our group. Michelle was the leader, beautiful redhead, charming and charismatic, Cheyne was the crazy, bisexual who was sultry and a dead look alike to Betty Paige, Beth was calm, large, like me and a little reserved, with a history of continuously dating a felon, Cathie was once fat, lost a lot of weight and was finally feeling like a grown up with a 13 year old son. There was me. Large, fun and sort of in awe that I was included in the group and finally there is Dawn. I have been called pretty, but Dawn was more goddess than human, or so it seemed to me. We would walk down the street and everyone would stop to stare at her. It was weird to be around sometimes cause she would pay attention to me and yet the rest of the room was fixated on her.
So the six of us started hanging out - and here is where I'm going to leave this till I can really spend some time on the story.

After

So... I'm now an executive. This is very bittersweet and the emotional roller coaster that I've been going through the past 48 hours has reduced my sleeping to practically nothing.
While I know little about the details of what happened I can only image the worst case scenario for our CIO to leave. This man is incredible. Funny. Intelligent and a great motivator. Easy to talk with, if not a little intimidating at times, and I am not the only one who is reeling from the sudden change in the hierarchy at work. While honored to be asked to move up I would love for everything to be how it was a month ago.
So... onto other things. I've been obsessed with pillows lately and after a month of making, designing and listing I think I may be petering out. My blue front page guy is still getting a ton of views and hearts but is not getting sold. None of them are. The house pillow, pink and black and red are sitting there not moving and I'm not sure if what I made was just a surge of frantic energy that has sputtered out.
So... things I'm hoping to do this weekend. Gym tomorrow morning - have to go. I was bad last week and didn't go and this week has been odd. Must get back onto a schedule. I say it over and over again and need to stop saying it and just do it.
Well it is almost 2:00am and no where near tired... again. Hope to calm my brain and get a few hours.

Before...

So, I have a basic idea of what's going on. My CIO, a great, amazing guy, is about to be let go. I don't know why, I don't know what happened. All I know is that in less than an hour everything changes.
Questions that I do have cause I'm a myopic human. I'm assuming that my direct boss will become the new CIO - in some ways that great. However, where do I go? Do I go with him (I hope, I hope, I hope) or will I be officially put as the lower assistant (which would suck beyond all things that suck). What's going to happen with the CIO's assistant? We we co-chair everything - I could live with that.
Right now is the calm before the storm. The notices have gone out. I've played innocent and have no idea what's happening while my hands shake and I go bright red every 5 minutes with this hanging over me.
I don't like this. I wish that everything could be how it was a month ago. With our CIO here and everyone knowing their role.