Day 115

I wish that losing weight was constant. I wish that going to the gym guaranteed some kind of result but I have lost 6 ounces since October 5th. I have gone to the gym. I have made sure that I was in between 1600 - 1800 for all but two days this month and this morning the scale said that I was only 6 ounces down. Three weeks - 6 ounces. It makes no sense.
Tomorrow morning I will go to the gym. I will not eat Friday donuts. I will refrain from Halloween candy. I will be good and hope that somehow the scale starts to reflect this cause right now I feel like I'm on the precipice of just saying f' it.
But I wont
What I will do is go back to the basics. I haven't been faithfully writing down everything that I eat. I have been drinking diet coke which I shouldn't. I have been a little lazy at the gym and I have had treats that I don't always need. Late afternoons I have had an extra piece of cheese or a small piece of chicken to get me through to dinner. These are probably the causes for the stagnation on weight loss, but with the holidays dangerously close I can't become laissez faire and must rededicate myself to the diet.

Day 108 and the 3 W's

Haven't really written much and that's because since the last time I wrote there has only been 3.8 pounds down in 15 days. I had hoped that I would be near 60 pounds down by this point (8 pounds lighter than I am right now), but my body has adjusted to the diet and to the exercise and losing weight has become much more difficult. I feel like I'm clawing away at each pound and it's taking forever.
I also didn't realize that being on a diet will be a life long change. I had sort of thought that I would not eat as much and do a bit more walking then in a couple of months I'd be right where I wanted and life could go back to where it was. Not the case. What I have slowly discovered over the past three and a half months is that this will now be my life, or I will quickly climb back to my original weight. I will have to weigh myself every morning, watch what I eat and exercise every day and when I get to goal (the way that I'm losing now it will take a year to get to goal) I can't stop and assume that all will be fine, but will have to continue to weigh, watch what I eat and work out, the 3 W's is what I'm calling it.
Tomorrow is my 6th year wedding anniversary and tomorrow night I know I will be having a high calorie meal so we've already decided to do 4 miles on the elliptical in the morning and a 7 mile walk in the day to help counter the calories but I will be savoring each and every bite and be back on the diet first thing Saturday morning.

Day 93 or Three Months and 48 Pounds Lighter

I was a little disappointed this morning that the scale refused to go down the additional 2 pounds I wanted to make today officially 50 pounds, but if I had gotten up and gone to the gym like I had originally planned I probably would have hit goal again. Oh well.
Tomorrow I will get up early and do the dreaded elliptical for 40 minutes, and start focusing on my October goal: 11 - 12 pounds by November 5th. I think the days of early July are gone where in one day I lost 6 pounds due to a drastic diet change and now that my body is used to 1600 calories and the gym routine I will need to continue going and finding new ways to get exercise in so I can continue to lose. I know I'm on the precipice of someone actually noticing and that is highly motivating me to continue.

Day 91

GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL! On Saturday morning for a brief moment after the gym and before I allowed myself a sip of water the scale hit goal. 50 pounds down! It was in a word glorious and I was convinced that it would just continue to go down, but atlas. No. This morning after the gym the scale was up 4.8 pounds from Saturday morning. I'm frustrated. My husband says I'm being too literal about the scale and what it's showing and that I need to relax, but how? I trust the scale numbers. That's what's validating my actual weight loss since I'm down (almost) 50 pounds and NO ONE is still saying anything about any physical changes and it's really starting to get to me.
I did notice one thing that might have a small influence as to why no one has noticed. While I'm buying smaller pants (down 3 sizes from July 5) so I don't walk around with diaper butt, I have not really bought anything fitted or smaller for my top half. Yesterday afternoon at my best friend's house warming party (where I was surrounded by gay men who have known me for years) again no one noticed. It wasn't until I was home and walked by a mirror that I noticed that there was a good 6 inches of extra material that I could easily gather up, and with the cut of the empire shirt that was I wearing didn't show off any weight loss, but looked like I filled it out like I used to. So a new goal is to start putting on shirts and if I can easily grab a handful of material when sitting the shirt is too big and needs to go into the pile to donate.
In two days it will be my three month anniversary of starting this diet. The first month if anyone had told me that I would not only be able to survive on 1600 calories a day but also be able to go to the gym almost every morning and do the elliptical for 30 - 50 minutes without dying, I would have thought they were crazy, but here I am on the verge of 100 days and even though no one has said anything I keep having hope that soon, someone, anyone will notice a change and comment on it.