Not feeling it

So today I have a crapload of my jewelry and people are looking and some are buying. I just feel so exposed. I almost want a sign that says 'I really don't need your money, I just like making things', but if that were really true then I'd just put a pile of stuff that says 'go for it', so there must be some truth to the wanting money. I haven't had a sale on etsy in over a week, which is nothing, but I was digging the game of it. It must be the fact that I'm late, period wise. Yesterday I was so emotional it was silly.

But as weird as I feel, I can't imagine what life would feel like if I was my co-worker or friend.

On Saturday my co-worker got a call saying that her 23 year old son was dead. He had had a seizure at a friend's house, his eyes roll back and he was gone. Instantly. She was actually at work on Wednesday. On one side I can see why people need to go to work during personal trauma, it relieves them of what's going on outside of the office. You know your routine and where you fit in. There's no identity issue happening. When you're back in the world you have to think about cremation and services, emptying out his bedroom. I couldn't imagine.

With my friend it's more of a 'whoa' kind of experience. This week she had lunch with an ex boyfriend who had been her guy for 7 years before they broke up. They called occasionally and so this wasn't out of the blue. Well he tells her that next week he leaves for reconstructive face surgery so his transition to being a woman won't be so difficult. Yes, the plot of so many bad tv movies is my friends reality. As I told her two nights ago when I came over to help her process, so often we wish that our ex's would get castrated, this ones doing it voluntarily.

Now I don't know where most people are in the transgender thing, personally if you want to spend your own money, you should be able to do anything to yourself. Not that there's any legislature out there, but the minute this becomes government funded though, I'll balk like it's no ones business.

Gas is high, everyone knows that, so my husband decided that with his car in the shop and no other way to get there (I love him but I'm not going to drive 100 miles before 8:00am on a Friday) so he thought he'd take the metro from San Gabriel to El Segundo. I dropped him off at 7:20, on my way to work. He didn't get into work till almost 11:00. Yeah. 11:00. I'd be scratching the walls by 10:00 and possibly creating a hostage situation by 10:30. Needless to say, public transportation is not in our future.

For this weekend, we're supposed to do things with father's but both of us are kind of not in that mood. In fact, I don't think our father's are. Mine just wants to watch golf and eat a sandwich.