Day 9

On Tuesday, July 5th I started nutrisystem and so far I have not really cheated on this diet, but I'm maintaining 1600 calories, or somewhere near that, everyday and the one thing I can say is that IT BLOWS.
Wow. I have no idea how many calories I was cramming into my gullet every day, but 1600 really isn't a lot of food some days. Even being 'good', my current breakfast is 385 calories and that's mainly good things like blueberries, fat free yogurt, cantaloupe and a breakfast bar.
Since I started really paying attention to the calorie count in everything that I shovel in, my husband (the amazing man that he is) started looking into our favorite restaurants to see what I could have outside our house. It's just depressing. Our Saturday routine after the gym has been to go to Starbucks and order our breakfast there. Even though the reduced fat turkey bacon is healthier, it is still 380 calories. And my blessed Venti iced vanilla latte is over 400. So almost 800 calories and that's not including the raw sugar packet that I add either. And now that 1600 is the hard line that I dare not cross, I can't waste half of it at Starbucks.
I am a bit shocked at how my brain went from one way of thinking to this sudden calorie counting accountant. Since last Tuesday, the one page on nutrisystem that has been constantly up is my daily food intake. I look at it, modify it and stare at it hourly, making sure that my water intake is current and that my next meal won't tip the number towards 1700.
I'm sure everyone has weaker times during the day, when willpower slips and you could lose control. For me it's when I get home from work. No husband. No place to go. Just food and me. Alone. I normally work on orders or make jewelry to put into my shop but I am finding that I really need to do something else to get my mind off of food.
Now that I have a week of progress I do hope that it gets easier. I'm still miffed that my pants are staying on me when I walk around and no one can see any progress. My mom chastised me for not having a scale so this weekend we bought one which broke after two uses (and even though I am big, I made sure the limit was way over what I weigh) so I have no idea if this diet is working or not. I just have to hope and continue and hopefully sooner, rather than later, I will see some kind of difference.