Yesterday was the memorial for my grandma. At home, memorial flowers from my company are in my kitchen counter.
The memorial was nice, it seemed more an advertisement for Royal Oaks, PEO and the Daz`e shop where she volunteered. The minister said that she endured her time till she could get into Royal Oaks - that hurt and made me think that I was a hindrance to her during the four years we lived together. My father disagrees and thinks I'm too sensitive, but that's how I interpreted the message. I also told him what grandma had said about Chris and my dad said that grandma really wasn't there near the end. The kind, always happy woman wasn't there, I know that. But I've always thought that death was sort of like a truth serum, where there's nothing to loose, not that there's no more life left.
I'm going to try to forget about the last couple times I saw grandma, even though they were my last images, they weren't the ones of what I want to remember.
Well, my cousin Peggy is looking for her inheritance. I guess, to an extent we all are, she's just being much more vocal than I would ever be. I did tell the little bit that I know. Mom and aunt Marlyn are getting 40% each and the rest is going to my uncles four daughters. I doubt I'll get anything at all, even though I can easily think about spending 10k on home improvements.
Speaking of home improvements. Last week the air went out and it was driving me crazy so I called and I know have air. Also, my wonderful father-in-law was perfect and helped my husband figure out what was wrong with the kitchen sink and now I have a sink that doesn't drip every 5 seconds or less (the guilt of a drippy faucet brought me to tears more than I'd care to admit).
Yesterday after the funeral, I sat in the pool for two hours read and played with the dogs. After the two hours I got no additional color. None. I think I'm about as tan as I can get without really hurting my skin.
So, there's little else to report. I'm back in the office - everyone is so nice and is so concerned. However there are only a few people with my sense of humor so when people ask what they can do and I mention if they have a shovel, they sort of look at me odd. It's a look I'm familiar with but still.
Off to work on the piles at my desk.